"Selling out" vs "Saying yes"

The thing is, I really like saying yes. I like new things, projects, plans, getting people together and doing something, trying something, even when it's corny or stupid. I am not good at saying no. And I do not get along with people who say no. When you could die, and it really could be this afternoon, under the same bus wheels I'll stick my head if need be, you will not be happy about having said no. You will be kicking your ass about all the no's you've said. No to that opportunity or no to that trip to Nova Scotia or no to that night out, or no to that project or no to that person who wants to be naked with you but you worry about what your friends will say.

No is for wimps. No is for pussies. No is to live small and embittered, cherishing the opportunities you missed because they might have sent the wrong message.

What matters is that you do good work. What matters is that you produce things that are true and will stand. What matters is that the Flaming Lips' new album is ravishing and I've listened to it a thousand times already, sometimes for days on end, and it enriches me and makes me want to save people. What matters is that it will stand forever, long after any narrow-hearted curmudgeons have forgotten their appearance on goddamn 90210. What matters is not the perception, nor the fashion, not who's up and who's down, but what someone has done and if they meant it. What matters is that you want to see and make and do, on as grand a scale as you want, regardless of what the tiny voices of tiny people say. Do not be critics, you people, I beg you. I was a critic and I wish I could take it all back because it came from a smelly and ignorant place in me, and spoke with a voice that was all rage and envy. Do no dismiss a book until you have written one, and do not dismiss a movie until you have made one, and do not dismiss a person until you have met them. It is a fuckload of work to be open-minded and generous and forgiving and accepting, but Christ that is what matters. What matters is saying yes."

-Dave Eggers

Shifting the Default

With all the talk of cycles ending, moving from light into dark, expansion into contraction, it seems the natural progression of these thoughts brings me to the following question:

How does one navigate transition and change gracefully?

Typically we humans have our defaults set in such a way that we don't even realize we are in a constant cycle of repeating the same patterns over...and over...and over. Usually we react to things (interactions, decisions, relationships, challenges) in one of two ways: we either shy away from it, tune it out ("I can't do it") or we try to conquer it--muscle through, take control, assert our power. This is our default. Think about your tendency: How do you typically react when something unexpected arises, when your buttons get pushed or something triggers you? What are your patterns in relationships, in your career, in your social sphere? If you are having trouble thinking of something, look no further than your family. The holidays are right around the corner, and a lot of us will be spending time with family members we don't see very often. For me, when I go home to visit my family, it is the shiniest mirror I could possibly imagine reflecting back all the things I may the day before thought I had all figured out and squared away. I see my life through a certain lens; I imagine myself a certain way, until I go home and suddenly I'm 17 again and playing out all the old samskaras with my sister, and I'm thinking, what the hell just happened? This isn't how I want to be.

Now imagine a particularly challenging yoga pose, one that causes you to cringe every time your teacher announces it. What is your default here? I'm willing to wager that how you react to a difficult pose translates exactly to how you react to struggle in your day-to-day life.

So how do we shift the default? Just like anything else in life, with practice. This change won't happen overnight; just as our physical bodies on our mats get stronger with consistent asana practice, and those challenging poses begin to open up for us, so does the practice of shifting out default get stronger over time to the point where the practice doesn't fade away the minute you roll up your yoga mat, but is carried with you into the 'real world' as well.

A consistent yoga practice is a call to the highest: can we practice in such a way that every movement, action, thought, and expression begins to move into alignment with our highest nature? By learning to approach challenges on the mat with a sense of curiosity, rather than aversion or assertion, we are more able to work with life's curve-balls instead of being constantly mowed down or blindsided by them.

Ramakrishna said, "The winds of grace are always blowing; it is for us to raise the sails." By opening to the winds of grace, we begin to have more and more of those fantastic "A HA!" moments and it becomes more and more easy to catch ourselves falling into old patterns and snap out of our defaults with greater ease. And the world in turn starts to turn every day a bit rosier.